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Is the Lottery a Global Addiction?
The resurrection of the lottery has been less than understated and discrete, and there are more and more adverts and games for people to take part in. Some people see the lottery as a root to evil and an argument used in conflicting lotteries is that they ...
Pornography Addiction
I do not have a pornography addiction; that is my official party line. At least it was until I visited this site that came highly recommended. If you are a porno-phile like myself, I challenge you also to take this "test."Dr. Douglas makes some very ...
Unrealistic expectations can cause failure
Weight gain is an evolutionary process. Some people call it creeping weight. The scale turtles inexorably upward – a tight skirt, a belt notch, a can't-zip-up-my-pants inch at a time. Yet you expect the scale to go down as rapidly as a high-speed ...
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Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking - Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. "What if I never get well?" "What if my husband gets sick?" "What if I run out of money?" (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). "What if my son gets into drugs?" "What if my kids don't get into good colleges?" "What if someone breaks into the house?"
Her worry was not only causing her depression, but was also contributing to her illness, if not actually causing it. Her worry caused so much stress in her body that her immune system could not do its job of keeping her well. Yet even the awareness that her worry was causing her depression and possibly even her illness did not stop Carole from worrying. She was addicted to it. She was unconsciously addicted to the sense of control that worry gave her.
I understood this well because I come from a long line of worriers. My grandmother's whole life was about worrying. She lived with us as I was growing up and I don't remember ever seeing her without a look of worry on her face. Same with my mother – constant worry. Of course, I picked up on it and also became a worrier. However, unlike my mother and grandmother, who worried daily until the day they died, I decided I didn't want to live that way. The turning point came for me the day my husband and I were going to the beach and I started to worry that the house would burn down and my children would die. I became so upset from the worry that we had to turn around and come home. I knew then that I had to do something about it.
As I started to examine the cause of worry, I realized that worriers believe that worry will stop bad things from happening. My mother worried her whole life and none of the bad things she worried about ever happened. She concluded that nothing bad happened because she worried! She really believed that she could control things with her worry. My father, however, never worried about anything, and nothing bad ever happened to him either. My mother believed that nothing bad happened to my father because of her worry! She really believed until the day she died (from heart problems that may have been due to her constant worry) that if she stopped worrying, everything would fall apart. My father is still alive at 92, even without her worrying about him!
It is not easy to stop worrying when you have been practicing worrying for most of your life. In order for me to stop worrying, I needed to recognize that the belief that worry has control over outcomes is a complete illusion. I needed to see that, not only is worry a waste of time, but that it can have grave negative consequences on health and well-being. Once I understood this, I was able to notice the stomach clenching that occurred whenever I worried and stop the thought that was causing the stress.
Carole is in the process of learning this. She sees that her worry makes her feel very anxious and depressed. She sees that when she doesn't worry, she is not nearly as fatigued as when she allows her addiction to worry to take over. She sees that when she stays in the moment rather than projecting into the future, she feels much better. The key for Carole in stopping worrying is in accepting that worry does not give her control.
Giving up the illusion of control that worry gives us not easy for anyone who worries. Yet there is an interesting paradox regarding worry. I have found that when I am in the present moment, I have a much better chance of making choices that support my highest good than when I'm stuck thinking about the future. Rather than giving us control, worry prevents us from being present enough to make loving choices for ourselves and others. Worrying actually ends up giving us less control rather than more!
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
margaret@innerbonding.com
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 Panhandlers emerge as holidays near in the Modesto area - Modesto Bee
Modesto Gospel Mission, P.O. Box 1203, Modesto, 95353. 529-8259 Inter-Faith Ministries, 120 Kerr Ave., Modesto, 95354. 572-3117. The Salvation Army, 625 I St., Modesto, 95352. 522-3209 Second Harvest Food Bank of Stanislaus and San Joaquin counties ...
Fighting Addictions - Wrcbtv.com
Alcohol and drugs aren't the only addictions that can destroy individuals and families. "Mary" says "I just felt very lonely and didn't care whether I lived or died." Sue Moore from L.I.F.E. Ministries says "There's statistics out there that 50-60 ...
Former Métis addictions council officials charged - CBC News
Two former directors of the Métis Addictions Council of Saskatchewan have been charged with defrauding the organization. Albert Joseph Delaire, 52, of Saskatoon has been charged with 11 counts of fraud over $5,000 and one count of forgery. In a news ...
New judge battled cocaine, alcohol addictions - Brownsville Herald
HOUSTON (AP) - The devil tattooed on Kevin Fine's upper arm holds a razor blade, a mirror and an eight ball symbolizing cocaine. His forearm sports a tattoo of Jesus holding up a man who has collapsed amid the waves of a massive storm. Elected by ...
Former Metis Addictions Council Directors Charged with Fraud - News Talk980
The RCMP say two former directors of the Metis Addiction Council of Saskatchewan are facing fraud charges. 52-year-old Albert Joseph Delaire is charged with 11 counts of fraud over $5,000, two under $5,000, and a count of forgery. Police accuse ...
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