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Why is it we save our best behavior for strangers and unleash it on our families? That's been true in my life, and I suspect it is in yours as well. During the upcoming holiday season we have numerous occasions for parties and family dinners which means more trips to the crowded grocery stores, or the worst of all: the mall. These can wreak havoc with your weight loss during this or any busy time of year.
Trying to "plan ahead" so you can avoid some of the rush is nearly impossible, unless you're smarter than I. Thinking I'd make about three major dishes for Christmas Eve dinner it finally dawned on me that I'm need to start baking a few days early.
Waiting and being patient is not my favorite thing at all. I've always had a difficult time in making a cake a day ahead. (Whenever you catch yourself saying the word "always" that's a hint something to use EFT on is coming to mind). I want to eat the cake as soon as it's finished, so if it must wait for a day, it's torture. I also like to make those huge three and four layer cakes so it takes up the entire refrigerator causing me to see it and nothing else every time I open the door.
Practicing Patience with Yourself and Others
Patience can be practiced all day every day. It is necessary when dealing with strangers, family, and most of all yourself. Just because you usually give in to your immediate desires for food doesn't mean you must do so. Maybe you are trying to avoid feeling deprived but practicing and learning to exercise some patience may be of good use.
If I bake a lovely cake and see it in the refrigerator, it beckons to me. Knowing I cannot take a slice without ruining the presentation doesn't seem to help me avoid the siren call. I could be sitting, minding my own business, when I suddenly snap my head upright, as if I've heard a ghost, "Come and get a piece of cake," it calls to me. "I'm waiting," it cries. "Stupid cake, I think."
Rather than trying to analyze why I have this strange desire to eat the cake, I'm just going to tackle it head-on with some EFT. I may also use the Swish Technique (taught in the Ending Emotional Eating workshop, Session 4).
If you've had similar struggles, try these suggested EFT phrases, or devise some for your situation. (EFT is easy to learn and use--see OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com for worksheets and instructions specific to weight loss or visit http://www.emofree.com for general information on learning EFT).
===== EFT for Patience in Eating
While tapping the P.R. (psychological reversal) point say,
"Even though I want to eat the cake, except I'm not supposed to because it's for tomorrow's dinner party, I deeply and completely accept myself."
Repeat that statement three times and say it like you mean it.
Then tap the rest of the face and body points, using a short reminder such as, "eat cake." The entire time think about that cake and how much you want it and how delicious it would be. Make it as strong a desire as you can (this is how EFT gets a strong neuropathway to disrupt so don't fear you'll make your cravings stronger, it actually will do the opposite).
"Even though I can't stand waiting, I choose to give myself permission to wait."
Reminder: "Can't wait."
"Even though I hate this waiting and I'm going to stick my face in it right now, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway."
Reminder: "Hate being told what to do."
"Even though I can't seem to deny myself what I want, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and give myself permission to wait."
Reminder: "Can't deny."
Practice this on some food or beverage that seems to call to you, and see whether it helps ease that pull. If you are reluctant because you are afraid you'll lose the desire for the completely (and this is you favorite food so you don't want that to happen), don't worry. That's not going to happen. You may come to want it less often and certainly you'll no longer feel a compulsive need for it, but most people discover they still enjoy the food just as much, they just no longer feel out-of-control about it. The control issue is what is being addressed. The desire or compulsion to have something that seems beyond a rational desire, that is what you are working to reduce.
Smile today at every person you see, and practice patience. Think of an inside joke, remember a happy moment, or a funny movie you saw. Put a happy memory in your head and carry it around with you, then whenever you see someone just smile to yourself. Even in the crowded stores, people will treat you better when you put a happy bubble around yourself, and you'll lift their spirits as well.
About the Author
~~ Kathryn Martyn, M.NLP, EFT coach and author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss lost 80 pounds over 17 years ago. Learn how she lost the weight and maintains that weight loss at http://www.OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
The "The Daily Bites" http://www.onemorebite-weightloss.com/getnews.html for motivating mini-lessons and tips using EFT and NLP to end the weight loss struggle.
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